Parenting and labels

You always here about not wanting to label your children. Labels are bad. Check the labels for ingredients, labels labels labels.

Look, we all have our own unique style of parenting. Naw freakin' sherlock. Why is it I feel like an afternoon special sometimes in my head when it comes to the interwebs and labels?

Where am I going with this, you ask? Hold on nervous Nelly. We've ALL seen it. I won't lie when there's a little bit of irritation when it comes to the definitive description of yourself as a woman and a parent on each little thing you do. Sure, I FF, CD, Co-sleep, yadda yadda. Does it really matter? What's the point? Is it a tactic to reassure yourself that you're doing what you want and the best how you see it? Or is it a more passive-aggressive way of the peering down the bridge of the nose? I think for some, it helps because another person can find comfort in commonality. That, oh, I have a question, this person will understand. I have met some that do that, but they are the sweetest people and truly are just proud of what they decide to do.

However, there's that ever present "dark side" of it all. Let's be real here. EVERYone thinks another's choice or decision is stupid or assumes at times another person is uneducated. I can respect that in the sign that it's just how humans are. We classify, we stereotype. The difference is not coming off as a judgemental or superior (be it religiously, intellectual, even parental-y). Which, try as we all may, you run into those people.

What sparked this? Ah, it's not something that just happened. We've all dealt with those little groups with that one smug, know-it-all twunt. The one you grin and bear through it because you want to show your children how to deal with that type of person. I ran across a particular subforum of an unnamed forum about formula feeding.

Let me preface this by saying I formula feed. No, I did not try to breastfeed. I don't blame society. I don't blame anyone. Blame would constitute a problem. My children are fine. Insane little boogers, but you can blame genes for that, har. Just because I DO formula feed and have zero intention of trying if by some insane immaculate conception wouldn't in the future. It's just not for me. It's just nothing something that "clicks" in my head. So yeah, there's probably something "off" about me in that respect, but I deal with it, move on. I am 100% for there being breastfeeding support and rights, because that's a woman's choice to make.

Back on subject. So, there was a topic about how bad formula feeding is, in a formula feeding support subforum. You're feeding your kid crap, how did people survive on that horrible formula types in the 1950s, etc. How in any way is that supportive? While I may not have any problems with feeding my children formula, there are a large group of women that struggled with a wide range of issues from milk supply, to medications that interfere, to physical/mental issues they couldn't help. There are so many women that DO have that horrible mommy guilt that washes over us, to post that is just salt in the wound.

I think that becoming a parent, it's impossible not to do some type of research, especially in this technological age. It's hard to ignore the news, the internet, books to make whatever informed decision that comes together. Yes, there is no denial that the crap that most of the formula companies do is that. Crap. I will add links later (note to self) to show it. However, it's just not a feasible option for the vast majority of families that can't/don't breastfeed.

Are these women that insecure in their own decision that they feel the need to make others feel just as insecure? I wonder sometimes. I hate to clump women into that group of mean girls, because men certainly are capable of the same thing. Still, it's because there isn't that shift in patriarchal care today, unfortunately. That's why I am strongly a believer in the support and power of choice. It doesn't just apply to the small area of the woman's body that is the uterus, it applies to so many other things, be it parenting, be it religion, be it food, be it that extra 15 minutes of lying in a warm bed on a cold day.

Okay, I'm fine with you thinking I'm an idiot and selfish for formula feeding or whatever decision I make with regards to my life. That's the beauty of it all. You can think how stupid or ridiculous something is, but the true test comes from being respectful and focusing on something other than the inevitable condescension.

There's a quote that comes to mind, and yes, I'm human and guilty of it too.
"The difference between a smart man and a wise man is that a smart man knows what to say, a wise man knows whether or not to say it." ~Frank M. Garafola

Courtesy of your:PP(paypal) weilding, BW(buttwiping), DLE(drivers license enabled), PB(permenantly bitchy), YL(yorkie loving) mom of 3.