PTSD sucks

I'm not sure how much I'm going to go into this since this is public and I'm not sure how to adjust settings with Blogspot (help?) but I'll just keep it vague and short. I don't know if my husband will be really happy about it either. We'll see.

He's going through a "spell" right now. Just a list of things:

-It breaks my heart to hear him say "Why did they die and I lived?"
-People suggesting "cures" for it, like it's so simple.
-Hearing him talk about him not being the same, lacking that spark in his eye
-Learning about a story, person, event I never heard about
-His easy agitation
-The eventual shutdown, zombie mode
-He doesn't eat.

I just hate it. I hate the horrible way it's handled (or lack of) with the military. I get defensive (and I shouldn't) when someone who never has any military experience (family or otherwise) seem to have idiotic ways to deal with it. Don't tell me or my husband to "not stress" "it's not that important" "why do that." If it was so simple, YOU deal with it.

I'm grateful my children seem to not notice. That he may shut down but makes sure he kisses or hugs them.