I miss my neighbor and weirdness

I had a scary moment with Aiden, and I couldn't sleep well after it. Before I get to that, some backstory.

I miss my neighbor.

We moved into this house. I'm not really a neighborly type person. I very much like to be to myself, which is why I was adamant about us never living on post when dh was in the military. So, it was cool my neighbor's husband was army too. He was a drill sergeant, so long hours, etc. She had two boys. Michael was a toddler, but he was so cute. Steffan was her oldest, but he was the BEST kid ever. I mean, manners, sweetness. He was 2-3 years older than Logan, but they'd have fun. Both she and her husband had childrne from previous marriages. Her stepson, on the other hand, was a pure terror and was one of those just mean kids. What would Steffan do? He'd APOLOGIZE for that kid's behavior. It wasn't Stephanie's fault, and I symapthized as a stepmom being limited on what you can do. She was so sweet and offered to watch Logan for some me time. She took Logan and her boys to the swimpark and to the movies, always returning the money threatening me to kick my butt if I did it again, LOL!

I was pregnant with Liam and she was too! So it was cool we were due within weeks of each other. We commiserated and she just had this very real personality. I love people that don't sugarcoat and are hoots. However, I won't lie when it seemed like there was a tinge of sadness. Maybe that's hindsight, who knows.

I had Liam, and she had Sam a couple weeks later. Fast forward to when Liam was a few months old. We were taking a trip to see our family when he was sick. We ended up in the ER on said trip and he had RSV. You mommas know hearing your kid struggling to breath is scary shit. Not crap. Not stuff. Shit. We came back, and she had mentioned Sam had the same problems. So it was probably something floating around.

Tommy was working nights at the time. It was his night off, he was watching Clerks 2. I decided to lay down in the bed with Liam, who was still colicky and getting over being sick. I wake up to Tommy opening the door and just sobbing. I go downstairs to try to figure out what the heck is going on, just scared to death. I pause the movie and just sit there. Just sit.

I see the cops, ambulance, and all that jazz light up the street. Then I hear the most bloodcurdling scream. My heart just sank because I just knew something horrible had happened. I don't want to get in the way, so I stay inside. Tommy comes in and tells me he needs me to watch Stephanie's boys for her. He tells me her baby is dead. He rushed over and did CPR till the paramedics showed up, he did everything his training did. He said the baby was all ready gone when he was doing CPR and he could taste the formula still on his lips.

The boys come in, and I have on the floor beds all ready made up for them. Michael, being he was so young, had no idea what was going on and went right to sleep. Steffan. He knew. He just was shaking and kept blaming himself over and over. I've always been one to be truthful, and him asking me "Is he really gone?" I couldn't answer that. All I could do was hug him while he cried. He just looked over at Liam and said "At least your baby is still alive." He was so worked up, he was throwing up through the night too.

The weird part of this all is her husband was gone on vacation to Germany. By himself. Hindsight again, it was a very telling story. I know we have our moments, but my husband showed what an amazing man he was by handling the military aspect himself. He did the chain of command and got stern when they tried to pishposh it off. It angers me a bit that they made her get investigated so much, for hours, and CPS and all that. And then to find out that maybe if they had spent all that energy on a local family that ended up abusing a baby of the same age to death, that baby could have been saved.

I wanted to go to the funeral, but I had no one to watch the boys. Her family came down and the first thing they did was come over and just hug Tommy. He's a strong man, one of the strongest I know, but I think it was definitely a moment that shook him to the core.

She doesn't live there anymore. Her father passed away, and she got offered a teaching job in Kansas. She dropped the bombshell that all this time, her husband had been cheating on her with a 19 year old student of his. She told him she'd stay married to him, they'd live their seperate lives but still be married, but he wanted a divorce. I hope she'll visit again because I don't really want to talk to him (he still lives there) and ask for her number. Because I might punch that asshole in the face.

I keep talking about her in the past tense. Ugh. She's a great woman, a great mother, and she just rocks. I feel for her so much because after that she had to get a hysterectomy. Liam ended up in the hospital shortly after, and she made sure that they didn't drop the ball by making phone calls.

My scary moment was the other night. I woke up from a bad dream or something in cold sweat. I was laying next to Aiden on the couch and he was just staring at me. I just had this feeling of pure terror and checked to see he was breathing. He was just awake staring at me, but that feeling is something nagging in the back of my mind. To think of that baby Sam, to think of Stephanie and her boys.

I'm not sure the point of this post, but I just had this need to purge it out.